TITLE: The Devil’s Vinyl
ORIGINAL AIR DATE: November 7, 2014
This episode was the king of snark and witty one liners. It might have been my favorite episode so far andManny’s eyes are still a freaking distraction.
* please stop reading if you do not want to be told what happens *
The episode opens with a blonde “breaking and entering” a run down building. It’s filled with dead carcasses of animals. (Normal women would run screaming from the place. Hell, normal men would run screaming from the place, but not this woman.) She goes to a place in a wall and removes some concrete and pulls out a Bible. Inside the Bible, she finds a record wrapped in a white cloth.
The same woman is now in a recording studio and she’s telling Bernie the “producer” (that’s assumption because they’re in a recording studio) to authenticate the album (or as everyone in the episode calls it acetate) but makes him promise not to listen to it. She steps into the other room to make a phone call and what does dummy producer do? Listen to it. His headphones start to freeze to his head and he rips them off and then drives a mail opener through his brain.
Zed arrives at the Mill House, not on invitation but by a drawing from one of her visions. She meets Chas and he lets her in and before he gives her the two penny tour, we see what looks like a naked Constantine chanting. Chas tells Zed he’s learning a spell. Constantine gets cleaned up and they’re standing over the scry map that Liv had scried in episode one with a news paper. The paper says that a music producer (dummy who had to listen to the album) committed suicide. Constantine tells Zed that there’s no way he’d commit suicide as he knew Bernie and that he produced the only record that his band Mucous Membrane recorded. He asks Zed to touch the map and paper and we see her in a field of jasmine and that it’s so cold her breath can be seen.
Constantine with Zed in tow travel to Chicago to chat with Bernie. Yeah, he’s dead and Constantine tells Zed they’re going to use the Hand of Glory (the left hand from a man that’s been hung, said hand is pickled in amniotic fluid for seven years and with the right incantation the hand can raise the dead). Constantine raises Bernie and a few others and Bernie tells them that he was murdered and mumbles moonrise. Constantin wants to go to the library to look up what Bernie has said, but tech savvy Zed pulls up everything they need on her phone. She tells Constantine that they’re looking for Moonrise Records and head off to question Marcus, the former owner. Marcus tells them of a blues artist that sold his soul to the devil in exchange for success. It is legend that the blues artist’s last album (aka acetate) recorded the voice of the devil and anyone who listens to the album dies and that others near the album hear voices. Marcus said he couldn’t destroy it so he buried it in the wall and that a private investigator had come asking him about it. Before Marcus dies, he tells Constantine a name, “Fell.”
Constantine tells Zed that Ian Fell had been produced by Bernie and that he was a huge success. They question him but he’s clueless but learn really quick that his wife Jasmine sold her soul to save Ian from cancer. She tells Constantine that she brokered a deal to exchange the record for her soul. Constantine goes to meet the soul broker instead of Jasmine and discovers that voodoo Priest Papa Midnight is behind it all. He wants the record as a possible get out of jail (aka hell) free card. Papa Midnite knocks Constantine out and when Constantine awakens Papa Midnite cuts him and leaves him to bleed to death.
Papa Midnite’s two thugs break into Jasmine’s home and steel the record. They of course fall under the spell of the record and head off to play it. First at a night club where all hell breaks loose and then off to a radio station. Guess what, all hell breaks loose. Again. With earbuds in his ears, Constantine heads in to stop the two thugs from playing the album over the airwaves but when an earbud falls out, he falls to the ground in agony. To the rescue comes Papa Midnite with a shotgun in hand. Constantine says a spell that turns the record against the thugs and the earth opens up and swallows the two and the record into hell.
Jasmine who is now suddenly dying watches her soul broker eat the contract she signed and she returns to normal.
The episode ends with Papa Midnight dropping a Constantine voodoo doll into a burning pot.
DUN. DUN. DUN….